Childhood

Life has never felt quite right to me,
Alone at recess
Nervous at lunch,
I remember crying for my mother on the first day of kindergarten,
I thought she had left me for good.
Every first day of school
I had a belly full of butterflies,
Too shy to make friends,
I never felt adjusted,
I remember the melancholy
When no one talked to me
Forever alone in this chamber of fear,
Every little smirk
All of you are jerks
Laughing at my expense
Swelling anxiety,
Mother wasn't there to protect me.

Written August 9, 2019

September

A chorus of starlings fill the air,

While shadows dance with the sunlights glare,

A Waltz of a different kind, 

Mesmerize the mind,

The asters burst open, 

The colour of September paints from green to golden,

Violet petals with yellow centres,

A monarch floats from grass to clover 

A seldom sight to see

As if a visit just for me, 

Autumn is in the air. 

I think we are on the cusp of change

A new season, a new name, 

Dragonflies zoom here and there

How fun it must be to fly, 

How fleeting it all is

I soak up the majesty while I can

Summer breezes, 

Make way for the leaves that fall, 

The crickets song.

How I wish I could stand still,

As Life’s swinging pendulum 

Is Staring me down,

The mirror isn’t kind

And neither is my mind 

But September trees florish

Before the change resumes,

For another year,

Another forward march with time. 

Slow Motion

It feels like I'm walking in slow motion

While moving backwards in quicksand

Or 3 feet of tar,

I push forward

Over and over again

But progress is slow,

All the while fighting demons

Of mind and body,

Deep thunderous mountains on both sides 

Many ship wrecks off my coastlines

And the lighthouses have gone dark. 

Kings and Queens

Peach coloured lenses

Can’t focus anyway,

But we wear them just the same,

No filter, a bitter sight

Oh, how quickly beauty fades,

Overbearingly sweet

Or explosive,

No implosive,

Does that make you think? 

Irrelevant dreams,

Flash into our screens,

They dangle their fortune

While the streets are paved with pain,

More worthy you say?

Why? Because of a name?

Dollar bills mean nothing

To Ragnorok,

You’re guilty all the same.

So wipe that smug smile off your face,

The pagentry will follow you to the grave,

But history won’t be so kind,

Kings and queens fall all the time,

Others find the guillotine 

Chop, chop

Swift and sure,

Justice isn’t so far away

It might just be at your feet.

Will this end in handcuffs?

Or more spilled blood on our streets?

Forty

Forty years, one hundred versions of me, 

Transforming, evolving, butterfly from Crysallis,

A woman found, back to lost,

I never stop learning, 

Broken, glued together, piece by piece,

She runs, dances, then trips,

I bleed on the floor but arise without a stitch,

From North America, I cross an ocean for love,

African sunrises look the same

But January flowers are unique,

Nothing is easy but I am resilient,

In your eyes I can breathe

But I miss the comfort of home

And the warmth of my mother,

Grow, bloom, wilt and reseed,

Endless cycles of life

Waves come and go,

Atlantic to Mediterranean,

I go where the wind blows

Seeds in the sky,

Forty years, one thousand versions of me,

Never satisfied standing still

Life is meant for exploration. 

Moonlight

Moonlight, moonlight
Reflecting on the sea
Shining clear visions
Of nights possibility,
An anchor of hope
Weighs down the consequence
Freedoms remorse

Over lovers lament,

Visions still twinkle

Like the stars in the sky

Holding too tightly

While hearing my cry,

Moonlight, moonlight

Guide my path

Like rivers still flowing

If only to laugh. 

After the Sleep

​The first sign of spring reveals itself in purple crocuses,

Vibrant orange stigma glow in the sun, 

A piece of hope after a bleak winter sleep,

Birds return from their Southern retreat, 

As a sweet melody swims through the wind, 

A robins song welcoming life again,

My feathered friends ease the loneliness I have felt, 

Renewal and birth, 

As life returns to the earth

I revel in the revival.

Dancing on still soggy soil,

Footprints lead me home,

Regenerating my worth, 

With hands in the dirt,

I bloom along side the daffodils

And remember that life is a cycle

Death becomes life just as quickly as life becomes death,

And I am free to be

Anew, like a spring day.