There's a deep sadness,
In my bones,
Not between marrow,
Deeper;
More like an ache,
Eating away at me,
Stinging like a wasp,
But I can't find the reason;
Waves crash, bridges burn,
In deep water, struggling for air,
Can time heal all wounds?
I don't think so.
Instead they keep coming in,
Flooding me,
Drowning me,
In constant fear,
I've lost myself;
Dreams never filled,
Emptiness is all that remains,
A bleak winter ahead,
Shakes me, like the wind shakes the leaves from the tree,
We have so much in common,
Except I don't see new growth;
Come spring,
I will remain barren,
Both of womb and spirit.
Holding onto nothing but still gripping,
Onto the hope, maybe...
One day I will belong;
On a planet of human disease,
Wasting this world like I've wasted my youth,
I want to burn bright, like a summer campfire,
Like the desert sun,
I want to be one with the stars,
But the pain holds me captive,
I am a prisoner in this body.
Originally written: November 30/2017
